Ralph Waldo Emerson famously observed, “Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion. It seizes a person whole and once it has done so, he will have to accept that his life will be radically changed.”
It’s true. It’s glorious. And, it’s problematic.
Pursuing a grand passion takes a tremendous amount of time and emotional energy. How is one supposed to do it justice and still do life?
As much as we’d like to do it all, the reality is that choosing to pursue big riding goals is going to cost more than money. It’s going to cost opportunities.
How do you know if this is the right year to go all in with your horses? What will you miss out on as a result? Are those sacrifices you’re willing to make?
Let’s begin with an analogy.
The Marbles and the Jar
You’ve heard the story about the professor who held up a jar of marbles at the front of his class: “Is the jar full?” he asked. The students nodded. Then, the professor poured sand into the jar. It settled among the marbles. “Now is the jar full?” he asked. The students nodded again. The professor shook his head and poured water into the jar. “Now,” he said, “the jar is full.”
This little analogy is usually used as a reminder to differentiate the most important things in life, like relationships and health (marbles) from other things that matter, like career and finances (sand) and less important things, like possessions (water).
I’m going to use it differently. For our purposes, let’s think of the jar as time. The marbles, sand, and water all represent possible ways to fill the jar:
Water represents non-productive activities like scrolling social media, watching TV, or shopping when we don’t need anything.
Sand represents productive but unfulfilling activities like laundry, dentist appointments, and changing the oil.
Marbles represent activities that are both productive and meaningful. Some of these (family and job responsibilities, for example) are unavoidable, whether we enjoy them or not. Many, however, are up to us to choose. For example, riding.
Each of us has a jar. All our jars are full. But, our jars are not full of the same things.
What does your jar look like right now? It almost certainly contains marbles, sand, and water, but in what proportions?
Are you wasting space on water that could be filled with marbles instead?
If you decided to put a couple more marbles in your jar (say, an endurance ride and dressage lessons), what would be displaced?
Do you want those new marbles enough to give up some water? How about some sand? Can you live with less Netflix, an imperfect house, or quicker dinners in order to spend more time in the saddle?
Maybe, like me, you’ve already dumped out a lot of sand and water to make room for marbles.
I always want more marbles.
If I had a bigger time jar, I would not only be trying to live like an elite endurance rider, an elite horse trainer, and an elite equestrian athlete, plus writing this blog, but also: writing a novel, competing in Spartan and Ragnar, running an interior design side-hustle, expanding my garden, traveling internationally, reading three books a week, and fostering kittens.
However.
Resources are limited. Minutes and calories and dollars can only be spent once. The trick is to identify not just what matters, but what matters most right now.
Bill Perkins writes in his book Die with Zero about the importance of spending your resources in the right seasons of life. You can only get that Disneyland experience with your kid when she’s little. You can only surf until your body gets too old.
Don’t hoard resources until it’s too late; spend them wisely, in the seasons that will let you enjoy them most.
Maybe you’re in a season to focus on a career you love, or live abroad, or raise your toddler. Maybe this is your time to train for an Ironman or Tevis. Perkins would tell you not to miss your chance.
Out of all the available marbles, which are appropriate for a later season, and on which will you miss out if you don’t focus on them now? Where does riding fit?
Making Hard Choices in Pursuit of Riding Goals
Do the marbles currently in your jar match the marbles that should be in your jar?
If not, you may need to make some painful decisions.
Here’s an example: Last year, I really wanted to ride endurance. I had a capable horse and all the supporting resources to make it happen. But, I also had a lot of travel plans that interfered with my ability to condition consistently. As a result, I ended up only going to one ride.
Last fall, Mr. Sweaty and I had a pow-wow. We determined that if endurance was going to happen, it needed to be a higher priority in my schedule. Because my time jar was already overflowing, making endurance a marble meant removing a different marble: travel.
We agreed to build next year’s schedule around endurance and give travel the leftovers, rather than the other way around.
Just last week, I turned down two, very attractive travel opportunities because they interfered with my ability to get Ledger conditioned for 50s. The disappointment still stings. But I can’t do everything. I have to choose.
What about you?
Do you have the right marbles in your jar? If not, what will you sacrifice put them there?
Is this your season for big riding goals? If so, do what it takes to seize it.
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